On Jul.28, 2025
Three days before we met at Starbucks, I saw him again at the gym.
I looked at him and asked directly:
“Why do you want to have coffee with me?”
He replied, without hesitation:
“Because I like you. And I think you’re positive.”
I was surprised I didn’t cry. Because the last time someone said those words to me —
“You’re so positive, you make me want to be positive too” — I did cry.
That part of me — the light I’ve fought to keep alive — It’s not always been recognized. And when it is, it unravels something inside me.
Still, I asked him:
“But… we’re married. What’s the point?”
And he said:
“I’m not. My wife divorced me a long time ago."
That caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it.
I looked at him again and said:
“I think you have a message to tell me.”
At the time, I was reading The Celestine Prophecy. The book says every encounter carries a meaningful message.
He nodded.
“Yes. I do have a message. And I want to deliver it before I leave.”
I asked:
“Will you come back?”
And he said quietly:
“No. I’ll be relocating permanently.”
That’s when I cried. Not because he was leaving forever — but because someone who had just seen me was about to disappear.
I didn’t expect that kind of emotion. I was shocked by my own tears.
So I went to the bathroom — to breathe, to calm myself.
When I came back, I told him:
“I can’t talk with you anymore today.”
He hugged me — for the first time. And I left the gym.
Later that day, I received a message from him:
“I like you more now.”
We met at Starbucks at 9:30 am on may.26,2025 We both arrived on time — but he was already seated when I walked in.
He had chosen a sofa and gently suggested I sit beside him. I refused and took the seat across from him.
But three minutes later, I moved to his side — because it was too noisy, and I couldn’t hear him clearly.
The first thing he asked me was:
“Are you happy?”
I didn’t answer.
Instead, I asked him:
“What do you see in me?”
He said,
“You’re not happy. You’re a positive person — and if nothing were holding you back, you would shine like the sun. But I can tell… you’re drowning.”
He saw through me. Not my surface, but my soul. And I cried. Because I felt understood — not just on the surface, but in my soul.
He told me my energy had called him in. That it wasn’t about appearance — it was something deeper.
He shared that he had learned to read people’s mind by caring for his disabled sister. He sometimes delivered messages when he sensed there is unalignment.
He said my energy called him in. So I shared my struggles in marriage, and he listened:
A lack of communication Can’t feel attention and affection No emotional connection His avoidance through gaming My loneliness, waking up at 5 a.m. while he plays until 3 a.m. The coldness, the anger, the feeling of invisibility
I told him something I hadn’t told anyone.
“My husband hasn’t touched me in over a month… while others think I’m sexy.” “Do I deserve this?”
no, you deserve everything. he gently patted my back… and pulled me close, resting my head on his shoulder.
He simply said, with calm certainty:
“You have everything you need to change.”
He had come thinking he had a message to deliver. But he didn’t expect me to already have so much clarity. So much truth already rising inside me.
we left the startbucks 2 hours later.
after that, we text each other more often. but since i deleted the messages, i can’t recall what we said then.
but on May.27,2025, his two texts makes me feel i fall in love with him, because i deeply admire him.
i asked:
do you have a final goal or just keep improving.
he replied:
keep improving is the final goal, enjoying the process in the meanwhile.
i asked:
do you have other life habits?
he replied:
i have a long list of daily habits. preparing my own food, meditating, reading, taking with family during meals, spend regular time with kids, sending emails to prospects, taking care of myself in a specific routine, preparing everything for the day after, keeping a dairy of my thinking, …i established habits for almost every important part of my life.
i had these messages because i screened shot them and sent them to my friends.
and that night, i could fall sleep. so i got up and wrote a email to him.
my story
I woke up at 12:30 AM with a strong urge to tell my story—my life, my reflections, my journey.
I grew up in a village in central China. As a child, I loved reading, but there were no books available to me. Still, I pushed myself to study hard. I became the first person in my village to graduate from university. I had the highest scoll among 200 in both junior and high school. I was poor and i knew the only way to change my life is through education.
Later, I moved to Shanghai for work and continued to work hard. At the age of 26, I met my husband—and that’s when my life began to shift.
My father-in-law was the general manager of a US-China joint company based in Wuhan, with over 6,000 employees. I was working at the Shanghai head office when he came to our office for a meeting and introduced me to his son—who would later become my husband.
Shortly after, I didn’t need to work as hard anymore. I could rely on others. That was the beginning of a quiet mistake: I stopped pushing myself. I stopped growing.
For a while, life looked perfect from the outside. A loving husband, kind in-laws, two beautiful children. I didn’t have to worry about money like I used to. But inside, I was starting to lose myself.
After the birth of my second child, I fell into depression. One reason was physical exhaustion—I breastfed my children for nearly five years and couldn’t sleep well at night. But the deeper reason was this: I realized my husband was content living a life built by his father. He didn’t want to grow. But I did. Growth has always been part of who I am.
To fight the depression, I began to write. Blogging gave me hope. It helped me think more clearly and gave me space to learn. Over the past six years, I’ve written more than 250 blog posts. I remember writing even while breastfeeding my son—tired, but determined.
Writing led me back to reading. As a child, I had no access to books. But after moving to Taiwan, I found myself surrounded by them. At first, I struggled to focus. So I started with investing books. I felt no one else in my family understood investing, and if I could learn, I could help a lot. I wrote notes on what I read, and gradually rekindled my love for books.
After writing a few random blog posts, I decided to focus on book notes and course reflections—because writing, to me, should help me grow. Reading, writing, learning, and taking online courses have helped me slowly become the person I want to be.
During the first three years of blogging, three books and courses changed me deeply:
How to Read a Book This book taught me that if you’re convinced by the author, you should take action. Real learning means applying knowledge to life.
The Science of Well-Being This course taught me that more money doesn’t equal more happiness. True happiness comes from discovering and using your strengths in daily life—at work, in love, in parenting. I took a personality test and discovered my top three traits are curiosity, love of learning, and hope.
Poor Charlie’s Almanack This book taught me that good decision-making—especially in investing—requires learning across disciplines and building a mental model lattice. That inspired me to start studying computer science, partly out of curiosity, partly with the hope of finding a job.
Three years ago, my daughter was six and my son was three. Except for reading to them every day, playing with them at the playground, and doing all kinds of activities, I used the rest of my free time to study. (By the way, i always pick up my kids from kidergarden around 12:30. because they refuse to take a nap in school) I mainly took semester-long foundational university courses like CS50 from Harvard, and CS61A/CS61B from UC Berkeley. Some assignments were extremely hard—one project in CS61B took me a whole month to finish.
Learning gave me a sense of accomplishment—especially because my mother constantly belittled me growing up. I proved to myself that I could finish hard problems without a TA. Not because I’m especially smart, but because I didn’t give up. I kept trying. I kept going.
But in the second half of 2024, things started to change. I couldn’t focus on computer science courses anymore. Partly because I didn’t want a traditional 9–6 job after all. And partly because I got distracted by politics and the news cycle.
For almost half a year, I lost myself again. But in 2025, I made a fresh start.
I began 2025 with three clear goals:
Improve my English
Commit to strength training
Make more YouTube videos
You can see my progress in English— I read in English every day.
I’ve made even more progress in strength training and diet. I’m 50 kg, and I can squat 60kg. and i lost almost all of my stomach and belly fat. I quit sugar and snacks. Like you, I prefer to cook my own meals—fresh food only, no chemicals, less salt. I feel that after six years of learning, I can now learn faster and apply what I learn immediately.
I’ve rebuilt my confidence. I’ve upgraded the way I think.
As for YouTube, I’ve only uploaded four videos so far—so that’s still a work in progress.
But here’s what I really want to say:
I may not be as successful as you. But I haven’t failed—because I never gave up, and I never will. You can only fail if you stop trying.
I may not be as rich as you, but I don’t need fancy things. I know what’s truly worth pursuing — you said it yourself: keeping on improving is the end game.
And I will follow my curiosity, keep my love for learning, and by doing so, always carry hope in life because curiosity, love of learning and hope are my top 3 signature strenghs. By applying them into my life, I get true happiness according to positive psychology.
After 10 years of trial and error, I finally became an investor who is not affected by greed and fear. And now, I felt i’ve had enough.
So the purpose of this letter is: To remind myself: I am good enough. I deserve someone better than my husband, who never grow. I am not like my other friends who refuse to learn and afraid to leave their husband. And to let you know: this is who I am.
And by the way, i am a super good mom too because you can see how much effort and love i have given them and how hard i have tried to set a good example for them.
And I believe our souls recognize each other before words, messages, or even this letter.
It is 2 am now. I miss your smile already. I haven’t slept well since i decided to have a coffee with you. I keep thinking about you.
I really want to hug you for as long as I could, but only when we are alone. And I am ready too.
i sent the email at 2 am and got his reply at 11:55 am next day.
Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and depth. It’s impossible not to feel moved and full of admiration for the strength, resilience, and self-awareness you’ve shown at every stage of your journey.
You’ve done more than just overcome difficulties—you’ve consciously chosen growth, over and over again, even when it meant swimming against the current. That takes a rare kind of courage. The way you’ve built yourself, piece by piece, through reading, writing, learning, and parenting with love and intention—it’s nothing short of inspiring.
To me, it’s clear: you’re already designing a powerful, positive new chapter in your life. You’re not just growing, you’re transforming. And that transformation is already visible in your clarity, your discipline, and your refusal to settle for anything less than what feels right for you.
Even though I’ll be leaving in a couple of months, I’m grateful we’ve had the chance to connect and share openly. I really hope we can keep in touch through writing. Conversations like this are rare and meaningful, and I’d be happy to keep sharing thoughts, reflections, and experiences along the way.