Love = Recognition + Space
Love is recognition. It is not only sweet words. It is not only pulling actions. It is recognition itself. It is one soul recognizing another soul.
I remember how he saw both my light and shadow even before we ever had a real conversation. Just from small talks in the gym, he noticed my smile, my discipline, my strength, my awakening energy — and told me: “Your smile shines like the sun.”
But he also sensed the pain behind the smile — the struggles in my marriage, the longing to change, the vulnerability. And he added softly: “If it wasn’t pulled by some shadow…”
That was the first time in my life I felt completely seen — not by a husband of twelve years, but by a stranger in the gym.
I remember our first real conversation in Starbucks. He gazed at me in a way that felt as if he was pulling all love toward me. And I, unable to hold it in, said: “I see everything in your eyes.”
And he answered simply: “Good.”
True love begins when one soul looks at another and says: “I see you.” And it becomes complete when the other soul replies: “I see you too.”
It can happen in a flash. And it can last for a whole lifetime. That is the paradox of love. A long gaze that contains eternity. A brief meeting that awakens a lifelong transformation.
I have lived through the transformation triggered by love. Only months later did I finally realize: to see each other is already to love.
Love doesn’t need time. It requires high sensitivity and awareness. Without it, even if love is present, you may fail to recognize it — as I once did before.
Because he never said: “I love you.” And only now did I understand — that this was love in its purest form: not possession, not declaration, but recognition.
Love, once recogized, is never lost. Recognition is like an imprint — a seal on the soul. That is why his gaze, his smile, remain alive and vivid within me.
His leaving soon gave us a chance to connect. Our connection began in knowing the departure was certain.
And his leaving, at last, gave us space to grow. In silence. In no contact. I finally recognized love — and let it grow.
Love is not just recognition, seeing the other’s essence, but also space — trusting each other to grow.
Before he left, I gave him a book: Total Freedom. I wished for him to have total freedom. And I knew I needed time to gain my own total freedom too.
Love itself is a paradox. We live on opposite sides of the earth. We give each other no contact, time and space to grow.
But love does not disappear. In space, it grows silently. And with its quiet power, it transforms a life.