I thought love was about holding on to someone… until life showed me that the greatest gift of love is awakening.

Opening

We met at the gym for months. Altogether, we only talked for about ten minutes.

He suggested having coffee several times, but I always refused.

Then in May, he told me he would be leaving soon. And he asked me to do him a favor: to finally have a coffee with him.

So I did.

We met at Starbucks — three times, three cups of coffee over three weeks. And somewhere between those conversations, I saw love in his eyes, and I fell in love with him.

And then, as planned, he left.

The Gift of Leaving

I used to think meeting him was the best gift of my life. Because he awakened me. He saw me. He recognized me. He mirrored back a part of me I had forgotten.

But over time, I realized something even greater: His leaving was the real gift.

Because when he left… I had to face myself. My real self.

I could no longer hide. I had to face my shadow and deal with it. Only then could I complete myself — and be free.

I discovered I didn’t collapse while missing him. Instead, I grew stronger. I discovered love was not something to receive, but something I could give and expand — from one person to myself, to life, and even to the world. I discovered no one else could walk my path for me.

I gained clarity. I gained willpower. I gained discipline. And I discovered an energy within me I never knew I had.

His presence gave me recognition. But his absence gave me time, space, and focus to transform myself.

And that was the greater gift.

The Meaning of True Love

The meaning of true love is not to possess. It is to awaken.

Possession says: please save me, I am weak. Awakening says: you are free — and through you, I found myself.

Love that tries to hold becomes heavy. Love that awakens becomes eternal.

Because true love is not about keeping someone beside you. It’s about being awakened into the fullness of who you are.

Facing My Own Struggle

For years, I hid inside my marriage. I poured myself into taking care of the kids. I hoped my husband would shape our future.

Because for many women, marriage feels like a shortcut — a place to hide so we don’t have to face the world.

But seven years ago, I realized my husband didn’t want to change. He had rich parents to rely on. And I cannot live in a marriage without growth. It goes against my nature.

So, while raising two young kids, I started to fight for myself: I wrote blogs. I learned to invest. I studied computer science.

Then this year, I decided to change. I set three resolutions: learn English, train my body, and create YouTube videos.

In January, I met him. He saw my energy and determination. By May, I had changed my body. And in that same month, he was drawn to my energy, and told me he liked me. He recognized both my light and my shadow. And through his eyes, I finally had the courage to face both.

My marriage looked “perfect,” but only at the cost of years of compromise.

Why did I compromise? Because I gave up on myself and relied on others.

My marriage was not love. It was a transaction.

He was the mirror who showed me my real life. And once I saw it, I could not pretend to unsee it.

Because true love does not possess — it awakens.

Awakening

I finally realized no one could fight my battles or carry my growth.

I had to face myself. The fears. The doubts. The uncertainty. And only then did I find the strength that was waiting inside all along.

And to my surprise, the energy of awakening is like a volcano. It wakes me up at 3 a.m. every day. It pushes me to complete myself.

Because my marriage had been my greatest energy leakage. I pretended to be happy to maintain a “happy” marriage. But the pretending caused the biggest inner conflict.

By facing it directly, by staying true to myself, I finally stopped the leakage.

I awakened. And with the energy of awakening, and the transformative power of real love, I gained the courage to face any difficulty in my life.

Ending

In the end, true love did not give me a person to keep… it gave me the courage to finally keep myself.