From -52% to +63%: The Year That Transformed My Investing — and Myself

Thumbnail: -52% → +63%

🎬 Hook

In 2022, my portfolio dropped 52.6% — it hurt deeply.
That year broke my ego but built my awareness.
It became my greatest teacher.

Because after that loss, I gained 59%, 31%, and 63% in the following years.

In this video, I’ll share how I turned the worst year of my investing life into my greatest life lesson.

When you lose a lot in the market, treat it as a lesson, not a failure.

Why I Lost Over 50%

It wasn’t the market that defeated me — it was the noise in my own mind.

Tried Every Style

At the beginning of my investing journey, I deliberately experimented with every style — because I wanted to learn.
I tried ETFs vs. active investing, value vs. growth, diversification vs. concentration, dividends vs. non-dividends, buy-and-hold vs. market timing, and even fixed equity-bond ratios.

Each approach taught me something new, but also scattered my focus.
I was chasing methods before mastering my mindset.

When my growth stocks dropped sharply, I didn’t know what to do — because I was still juggling multiple, conflicting strategies at once.

Imitation

I copied others’ portfolios before I learned to listen to my own temperament.

In the beginning, I followed everyone:
Warren Buffett. Charlie Munger. Aswath Damodaran.
Buyandhold2012 on Seeking Alpha. Saul from Motley Fool.
Mohnish Pabrai from India. Yongpin Duan from China.
Even Cathie Wood — for a short while.

I studied their words, their holdings, their philosophies — searching for the “right” way to invest.
But over time, I realized something deeper: following others was only the first step.

I had copied, but I hadn’t yet applied their wisdom to my own temperament, rhythm, and energy.

Lack of Inner Peace

I wasn’t truly investing anymore — I was simply reacting to noise.

I studied accounting, valuation, and statistics —
and I became arrogant.
I was greedy, wanting to get rich quickly.
I compared my performance to the S&P 500 and to other investors online.
Each comparison made me anxious, even when I was doing fine.

I began to lose humility.
I even told myself that Warren Buffett was no longer my role model —
because I thought I had found something better.

“Markets mirror your state of consciousness.”
When I lost awareness, I lost myself — and the market reflected that loss.

Turning Point

When your mind is restless, no strategy can save you.
My 50% drawdown wasn’t just a market correction — it was a mirror.
It showed me how far my actions had drifted from awareness.

“The biggest lessons come from pain.”

I didn’t even know how much I had lost —
I didn’t open my account for over a year.

Then one day, I reread The Education of a Value Investor.
In Chapter 13, the author wrote:

“If you want to get rich, value investing is a relatively stable method in the long run.
But beyond external wealth, investors must pursue inner growth —
self-awareness, humility, and the ability to face their own weaknesses.”

That line changed everything.

I realized I shouldn’t focus on the stock market;
I needed to invest in myself.

So I poured my energy into learning computer science, believing it would sharpen my thinking.
To my surprise, my portfolio grew nearly 60% — and I hadn’t even opened my account all year.

The contrast was too clear:

• The year I obsessed over investing, I lost 52%.
• The year I ignored the market and focused on learning, I gained 60%.

Why I Gained Over 60% Again

My 60% gain in 2023 was half luck, half unconscious alignment.

In the second half of 2024, I got distracted by politics and stopped studying.
I lost focus again — buying and selling too often, hoping to do better.
But in the end, I only outperformed SPY by 5%.
I could have done better simply by holding.

In 2025, I decided to cut off the news and change myself.
I became a value investor again.

Value investing sounds simple — find the right company, wait for the right price, and hold for years.
But it’s hard to apply because there’s too much noise every day.

To be a better investor, the key is to make better decisions.

So I used 99% of my time to invest in myself.
I studied English, trained my body, faced my negative emotions,
and practiced love, awareness, and surrender through writing and videos.

And without chasing results, my investing results soared —
a 60% gain, with 30% in bonds and 20% in UNH.

Because the moment I stopped looking outward
and started looking inward,
the market began to reward the energy I had cultivated inside.

Inner Assets and Outer Reflections

After years of chasing numbers, I finally understood —
money isn’t the source of wealth;
it’s the reflection of it.

External compounding begins only after internal compounding starts.

When my inner world was chaotic, my portfolio mirrored that chaos.
When I became patient, centered, and focused,
my portfolio began to compound — quietly, steadily, naturally.

The Spiritual Side of Investing

Investing, for me, is no longer about outperforming the market.
It’s a spiritual gym.

Every emotion — fear, greed, hope, pride — is a weight I must learn to lift.

When I panic, I practice awareness.
When I’m tempted by greed, I practice patience.
When I’m uncertain, I practice surrender.
When I feel joy, I practice gratitude.

Each market cycle is a mirror for my consciousness.
Each decision is a meditation in disguise.

Inner wealth compounds just like capital.
The more awareness you build, the less you react.
The less you react, the wiser your actions become.
And wisdom always compounds — in portfolio, in peace, in life.

🌸 Closing

After all these years, I realized:
investing isn’t about beating others — it’s about understanding myself.

In the past, I invested for freedom.
Now, I invest from freedom.

The greatest wealth is knowing you already have enough.
I have what I need for this season of life,
and I trust myself to adapt when the seasons change.

Once you truly feel you have enough,
you stop chasing, stop seeking validation, stop comparing, stop fearing the future.
From that stillness, clarity emerges —
and you naturally become a wiser investor, a conscious creator.
Outer wealth simply follows inner sufficiency.

I used to measure my returns in percentages.
Now, I measure them in inner peace, clarity, and stillness —
in the ability to stay calm when the world shakes,
in surrender, in gratitude, in trust.

Because in the end,
the greatest portfolio isn’t made of stocks or bonds —
it’s made of wisdom, awareness, and peace.

And that’s the portfolio I’ll keep compounding
for the rest of my life.