Awakening at 40: Why Do We Need Awakening?

Why do we need awakening?
The best way… is simply to tell my story.

Awakening wasn’t an overnight event.
It was built quietly, through years of silent preparation
and things I didn’t understand at the time.

And when it finally happened…
it didn’t just open my eyes —
it opened my entire life.

In this video, I will share the journey—
from the village to the roles I played—
and the one small decision that led to everything changing.

My Story

I grew up in a small village in China in the 1980s.
Back then, everyone was poor. Survival was the only priority.
Having enough food on the table was already a blessing.

But life began to change — and I changed with it.
China’s economy started to rise, and I was diligent.
I studied hard and became the first person in my village to go to university.

After graduation, my parents began pushing me to get married —
because in the village, many girls married before 20.
That was the path. That was the expectation.

At 23, I moved to Shanghai to find a job.
That’s where I met my partner, and I married at 28.

His family offered stability and a good environment
for me and my future children.
So at 30, I quit my job, moved to Taipei, and devoted myself to raising the kids.

And then… ten years disappeared.

Only now do I see the truth clearly:
I was playing the roles my culture handed to me.

• Get married at the “right” age
• Have children at the “right” time
• Be a good wife
• Be a responsible mother
• Keep everything peaceful

The longer I played those roles,
the more I depended on a man for survival — emotionally, financially, socially.

Slowly, without noticing,
my whole life became about playing roles,
not about being me.

We awaken because living without truth is not living —
it is only surviving.

My Struggle: The Cost of Playing Roles

I thought I had met a good man.
I thought once I got married, my life would be stable and happy.

And yes — materially, everything was fine.

But inside, my reality was very different.

I slowly fell into a life of:

• low self-worth
• fear about the future
• constant distraction
• emotional suppression
• people-pleasing
• losing confidence
• not caring about my looks
• losing energy
• losing my life force

When I had my second child, the weight of it all crushed me.
I burned out.
I fell into depression.
I felt like I was disappearing.

But because I grew up in hardship, there was always a small voice in me:

“Try to be better.”

So I did.

To save myself from depression, I started writing blogs.
I learned how to invest — because investing was the only leverage I had with limited time.
I learned how to learn.
I learned how to read deeply and think clearly.
I studied Munger’s latticework of mental models.
I studied widely and wrote reflections on my blog.

And I did all of this
while taking care of two young children.

But the truth is — maintaining discipline
in a chaotic life and chaotic mind was extremely hard.

I kept falling into distractions.
I blamed myself for being weak.
I desperately wanted change, so I shifted my hope to politics —
outsourcing my future to a candidate who claimed he would fix everything.

And for half a year,
I was completely lost.
I did nothing except scroll endlessly,
barely maintaining basic functioning.

One Decision That Changed My Life

I reached a point where I couldn’t live like that anymore.

A window opened in my life when my kids finally entered primary school,
and I made three New Year’s resolutions for myself.

So in January, I made one simple decision:
I signed up for an online English platform.

I didn’t expect this small choice
to completely change my life.

Speaking English gave me a place to express myself —
a place I had never truly had before.
And the moment I started expressing my truth,
I realized how much energy I had been suppressing for years.

Through English, I suddenly had access
to books and ideas that pulled me far beyond my environment.

And once I decided to change,
the right things and the right people arrived
exactly when I needed them —
from far outside my own culture.

I read Indistractable,
and learned that 90% of distraction
comes from running away from our emotions.
My entire life proved this was true.
So I decided to face my emotions bravely.

In February, I met an online teacher from Canada
who told me honestly:

“You’re doing great — except you avoid your emotions.”

That one sentence woke me up.

Then I read The Celestine Prophecy,
and my morning walks began filling me with energy and synchronicity.

Then I read Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself,
and I finally understood how to change the patterns inside my mind.

And then… fate brought someone unexpected.
I had three coffees with an Italian man I met at the gym —
someone who saw both my soul’s struggle
and my potential with clarity.

After he left, everything snapped into place.
I finally understood the root cause of my struggle: misalignment.
For years, I had abandoned myself,
hid inside my marriage,
and forgotten my own power.

The Awakening — When Everything Became Clear

Once I saw the truth —
the misalignment, the self-abandonment,
the years of hiding inside my marriage —
something inside me cracked open.

It wasn’t dramatic.
It wasn’t loud.
It didn’t feel like enlightenment.

It felt like finally opening my eyes
after many years of sleep.

For the first time, I saw:

• how I suppressed my emotions
• how I disconnected from my own needs
• how I lived only through roles
• how I depended on others for direction
• how I gave away my power without noticing

And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

Awakening didn’t make my life easier.
It made my life clearer.

I started to see:

• what drained my energy
• what came from fear
• what relationships were survival-based
• and what parts of myself I had abandoned

It was painful.
But it was also liberating.

Awakening wasn’t a “beautiful moment.”
It was a truth moment.
And the truth changed everything.

The Transformation — How Awakening Changed Me

Awakening didn’t change my environment — it changed me.
And once I changed inside, my whole life began to shift.

1. My Body Returned to Life

I treated my body with respect again.
Strength training, morning walks, stretching, yoga —
not for perfection, but for energy.
My face, posture, and life force came back.

2. My Mind Became Clear

I learned to stay present, observe emotions,
and choose awareness over fear.
Books became mirrors; morning walks became meditation.

3. My Energy Rose

When I stopped abandoning myself,
energy returned quickly.
Truth, creation, and alignment raised my life force.

4. My Creativity Opened

After years of silence, my voice came back.
I wrote daily and created YouTube videos in English.
The more I expressed, the more alive I felt.

5. My Identity Expanded

I stopped living through old roles.
I became a learner, a creator, an awakened woman —
someone who owns her choices.
My life became multidimensional — physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, creative, cultural.

6. Life Started Aligning

I woke with joy, moved with intention, created consistently,
and trusted life again.
Transformation wasn’t one moment —
it was the daily act of living in truth.

A Short Ending for My Video

Awakening didn’t give me a new life —
it gave me myself.

And once you return to yourself,
your whole world begins to shift.

If you feel lost, tired, or disconnected,
you are not broken —
you are simply being called back to your truth.

Awakening is not the end of the journey.
It is the beginning of finally living.

Thank you for watching,
and thank you for walking this path with me.