Awakening always sounded mystical to me.
But when it finally happened in my own life,
I realized it was simple, quiet, and deeply human.

Jung calls this process individuation —
the shedding of everything that is not your true self
so your nature can finally breathe.

Looking back at this year,
I didn’t awaken through addition, meditation, or effort.
I awakened through subtraction.

Month by month, I removed one layer that hid my truth.
And what remained was clarity, discipline, purpose —
and my real self.

Here is my awakening, told through twelve layers of letting go.

JAN — News

News is the first layer of collective noise —
fear-based, reactive, chaotic, urgent, and addictive.

It keeps the mind in survival mode, not clarity mode.

When I removed the noise of the world,
my mind became quiet for the first time in years.
I finally heard my own voice again.

FEB — Low Confidence

I used to believe I was a loser.
I truly thought something was wrong with me.

But speaking four hours every day
with teachers from around the world
showed me a different reflection:

positive, diligent, curious, resilient, willing to change.

One teacher told me,
“I cannot believe you don’t have confidence — you seem perfect.”

It was the first time I saw myself through truth, not fear.
This psychological shift became the foundation for everything after.
Without confidence, transformation cannot begin.

MAR — Sugar

I quit sugar because of strength training.
But later I realized I was not changing my diet —
I was clearing my mind.

Sugar was an invisible disruptor.
It affected:

• focus
• mood
• emotional stability
• discipline
• clarity

When I cut sugar:

• my mind calmed
• my attention sharpened
• my emotional swings softened
• my daily stability increased

This was not a physical shift.
It was a mental one.

Awakening requires a clear mind.
March gave my mind space to breathe.

APR — Late-Night Scrolling

While walking to the gym,
I fell in love with the quiet energy of morning.

To protect it,
I removed the habit that destroyed it.

Sleeping early made waking early natural.
I walked after sunrise
and reached the gym before 7 a.m.

My mornings became sacred,
and my life began to shift.

Restoring my natural circadian rhythm
became the biological foundation of awakening.
Deep sleep shapes focus, mood, discipline, and clarity.

MAY — Marriage Illusion

I faced a truth I had avoided:
I hid inside my marriage and forgot my own power.

The role gave me comfort and safety,
but it also limited me.

Roles feel safe.
Truth feels dangerous.

Removing the illusion of safety
forced me to see myself honestly.

A role is a mask.
Awakening is the removal of masks.

This was the month my awakening truly began.

JUN — Wanting to Be Saved

When I was ready to awaken,
life sent me a mirror —
a man who reflected both my potential and my shadow.

He carried qualities I admired:

discipline, strength, clarity, independence, courage.

Everything I believed I lacked.

Then I saw my unconscious pattern:

I wanted someone else to save me
instead of becoming the person who could save herself.

It was never about changing a man
or finding the “right” partner.

The real work was finding myself.

When I removed the desire to be saved,
I reclaimed responsibility for my life.

And something powerful happened:

I began building inside myself
the qualities I admired in him.

He was not meant to rescue me.
He was meant to reveal me.

Once I saw this, the illusion dissolved —
and the awakening accelerated.

JUL — Suppression

I had suppressed my feelings for decades.
Personality and culture taught me to stay quiet.

But the awakening energy growing inside me
was too strong to hold.

One day, I picked up a ballpoint pen in the bathroom.
It felt like synchronicity — a sign to write my truth.

And I did.

The suppressed self stepped out of hiding.
My real voice was born.

I broke the inner barrier:
“I am not allowed to express myself.”

This was the beginning of living as my true self.

AUG — Desire for Deep Connection

My mirror person left,
and I faced the emotions he awakened.

The mind often knows what is right,
but the emotional self needs time to catch up.

August became a month of emotional healing.

His presence awakened me.
His absence strengthened me.

I learned emotional independence
and gained something priceless: emotional self-trust.

Because of my morning routine, strength training, and writing,
I discovered I could:

• hold sadness
• stabilize emotions
• witness inner storms
• stay grounded even when my heart shook
• reflect and grow

This was emotional maturity.

SEP — Limiting Beliefs

I wasn’t “ready,”
but I started recording videos anyway.

I removed the belief that perfection was required.
Self-expression became my path to freedom.

Expression is my nature.
I can talk for hours.
I can write every day.
I come alive through creating.

When the false self dissolves,
the true self rises —
but only if you allow yourself to be real.

September was the month I chose realness.

OCT — Over-Trading Urges

Creating investing content revealed a simple truth:

Less is more —
in investing, in life, in everything.

I removed impatience
and found long-term clarity.

I stopped selling out of fear
and chose patience instead.

I became firm in my philosophy:
buy great companies and hold for years.

This month also taught me something deeper:

Expression isn’t just my nature —
I grow through expression.

NOV — “Not Enough” Story

Before November, I removed:

• habits
• attachments
• emotional patterns
• dependence
• perfectionism

But November revealed the root belief beneath them all:

“I don’t have enough.”
“I am not enough.”

This belief shaped everything:

• emotions
• decisions
• relationships
• creativity
• investing
• confidence
• expression

Removing it was a foundational shift.

I began to feel enough.
And I trusted that showing up daily
was how I would grow into my future.

DEC — External Validation

The final layer was the need for approval.

I removed the need for views, praise, and recognition.
No-view videos didn’t hurt anymore.
I created from truth, not performance.

December revealed my deepest conditioning:

“I need others to tell me I’m valuable.”

When this belief dissolved,
my worth came from within.

This was the month I became whole.

Wholeness is not perfection.
Wholeness means:

• trusting yourself
• valuing yourself
• being enough for yourself
• staying emotionally steady
• not rising on praise, not collapsing on silence
• living from inner truth

When no-view videos no longer hurt me,
I reached this state.

What Happened After a Year of Subtraction

With every layer I removed…

✔️ Discipline became natural
Discipline appears when friction disappears.

✔️ Clarity emerged
Noise dissolves → truth appears.

✔️ Life became meaningful
Meaning comes from alignment, not achievement.

✔️ Purpose revealed itself
Not through addition —
but through removing illusions.

✔️ I became myself
Awakening is not becoming more.
Awakening is becoming true.

Conclusion — Awakening Is a Subtraction Journey

This year taught me the simplest spiritual truth:

I didn’t transform by adding more.
I transformed by removing what wasn’t me.

Awakening is not self-improvement.
Awakening is self-revelation.

When the masks fall away,
your nature takes over.

And once your nature leads,
life becomes:

• calm
• clear
• disciplined
• meaningful
• aligned
• alive

This is awakening —
a quiet return to yourself,
one subtraction at a time.

I have completed the first stage of awakening — Dissolution.
Now I step into the second stage — Integration.