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Life Is Filled With Paradox What I’ve learned after 40: The truth lives in the tension between opposites. The deeper I walk on this path, the more I realize: Life doesn’t operate in straight lines — it flows in paradox. It’s not either/or — it’s both, woven together. And through my own experience, I’ve seen how truth often hides in contradiction. You Want Abundance? Give First. I began giving generously in May — money,encouragement, kindness, love. Since then, my stock portfolio started rising. Coincidence? Or energy flow? True abundance begins when you stop clutching and start contributing. You Pick the Shortcut, But It Takes You Longer I married a rich kid to take a shortcut — but eventually, the marriage became draining....

Think Clearly Before You Commit Before starting anything big — whether it’s building a brand, launching a business, or creating a YouTube channel — I believe there’s one thing you must do first: Think clearly. Take a moment. Pause. And ask yourself: Why do I want to do this? When you’re clear on why you’re doing something, you don’t need motivation. There’s a quote I love from Naval Ravikant: “Clear thinkers become clear speakers. Clear speakers become clear actors. Clear actors become clear winners.” In other words: Mental clarity → clear direction → clear actions → clear results. Before trying to work hard, chase success, or build wealth — you must first learn to think clearly. If you think clearly, you...

Reclaiming the Morning with Compassion I went to bed at 10 last night and woke up at 5:30. Strangely, when I sleep before 9:30, I often wake around 4:30. So when I saw the time this morning, my first thought was: “It’s too late for my morning walk… I’m losing willpower.” But this time, I caught it — that old voice of self-blame. I didn’t let it spiral. Instead, I paused, took a breath, and chose compassion: “You’re still doing beautifully. 5:30 is still early.” And just like that, I reclaimed the morning. On Self-Compassion I went for a walk in the park — the one we once shared. And I thought of him again. Should I blame myself for still missing him? No. I choose self-compassion. For years, I felt unseen. Unworthy. I gave everything to my family, yet felt increasingly taken for granted....

Awakening Diary — July 29, 2025 The Day I Stepped Into Practice Right before I woke up, I received a message in my dream: “You just need to write your awakening diary.” It was 3:59 a.m. Last night, I spent two hours struggling to organize the chapters of my book. The words felt messy. The task felt overwhelming. I thought — maybe it’s too hard to write a book. But this morning, I understood something deeper: There’s no need to worry. In awakening, you are guided by inspiration. So I decided — I’ll simply write what I’m inspired to write, and document it as a diary. I realized I had slipped into survival mode last night. Worrying about structure and outcome is another form of control....

On July,26,2025 I was woken up at 2:25 a.m. by my daughter. Every Friday night, my kids ask to sleep beside me. I usually fall right back asleep, but not this time. Today is his last day at the gym. I couldn’t stop thinking about our encounter yesterday. There was no warmth in his eyes — not even a trace. If he was a mirror, maybe he was simply reflecting what I was feeling inside. Every time I said thank you to him, he’d respond with a teasing “Again?” Yes, again. I said it many times. Because he helped me heal. Maybe he didn’t know how much. But is it the fact or just my performing? i question...

On Jul.28, 2025 Three days before we met at Starbucks, I saw him again at the gym. I looked at him and asked directly: “Why do you want to have coffee with me?” He replied, without hesitation: “Because I like you. And I think you’re positive.” I was surprised I didn’t cry. Because the last time someone said those words to me — “You’re so positive, you make me want to be positive too” — I did cry. That part of me — the light I’ve fought to keep alive — It’s not...

on july.28,2025 I woke up at 2:48 and again at 4:49. Fortunately, I was able to fall back asleep. I got up at 5:18. I’m grateful I could sleep longer today. When I don’t sleep well, it feels like a cloud is drifting above my head — not outside, but within me. Before I rose from bed, a thought floated into my mind: the days I couldn’t fall back asleep in the early hours — because of him. It was 5:20 — time for my morning walk. Before I headed out, I noticed something. The two tents my kids had built in the living room two days ago were gone. The space was clear. What a relief. No wonder I hadn’t felt...

on July.27,2025 i was woken up at 2:58 by my daughter again today. i try to go to bed but failed. and i discover a quiet habit i just got lately. before i get up, i love to touch my tummy and feel how flat it is. and after i get up, i love to look myself in the mirror in the bathroom half naked to enjoy how beauty my body looks like. that means: i start my day with appreciation and love for my body. i give myself a cup of water, and then start to finish the story of yesterday. on july.26,2025 i went outside for my morning walk at 5:21. when i arrvied at the park, the sky was dark full of dark heavy clouds. i couldn’t feel the energy and joy like i did before. i...

I was woken up at 2:25 a.m. by my daughter. Every Friday night, my kids ask to sleep beside me. I usually fall right back asleep, but not this time. Today is his last day at the gym. I couldn’t stop thinking about our encounter yesterday. There was no warmth in his eyes — not even a trace. If he was a mirror, maybe he was simply reflecting what I was feeling inside. Every time I said thank you to him, he’d respond with a teasing “Again?” Yes, again. I said it many times. Because he helped me heal. Maybe he didn’t know how much. But is it the fact or just my performing? i question myself. Unable...

On July.25,2025. I woke up at 4:20 this morning and opened my computer to write my story. At 5:50, I went out for my usual walk. It had been raining lightly since I got up. I thought about taking an umbrella — but then I told myself: Why bother? A little rain doesn’t matter. So I stepped outside with only a hat. On my way to the park, I saw raindrops on the leaves of a small tree. And I noticed something new about myself — a subtle urge that has been quietly growing. Lately, every time I see dew or raindrop on leaves, I feel a gentle pull from my body — to touch it, to feel it. Just like how I sometimes want to spread my arms wide when the wind brushes...

On July.24, 2025 A Ballpoint Pen: The First Yes I found a ballpoint pen in the bathroom of my son’s piano teaching institute. I felt I needed it — so I picked it up. I didn’t know it was a sign. Not until the next day. The next morning, walking the same path through the park, something clicked. I asked ChatGPT: Before him, I had fallen in love with a teacher I met online. We hadn’t met in person, only connected digitally. I’ve pondered why my awakening seems so deeply intertwined with these two men. It feels as if a woman’s awakening often needs to be catalyzed by love. It answered: Yes — female awakening often begins with love. Not because we are weak — but because...

The Sky Heals Me Now My mother-in-law visited today. She came to pick up food — for Amy, our 15-year-old corgi. Amy entered our lives the same time my marriage did. My husband brought her home right after our wedding. I loved him. so I loved her. I bought a secondhand dress and shoes for the wedding ceremony — just $100. But I spent four months’ salary to bring Amy with us to Taipei. I used to walk Amy and another dog, holding my daughter’s tiny hand — while carrying my son in my belly. I washed Amy myself. Trimmed her fur. one and half year ago, amy couldn’t stand on her own. so i took her for acupuncture for a whole year. then acupuncture...

This noon, I went to school to pick up my son as usual. I was thinking of taking the kids to a Japanese restaurant for lunch — a simple way to celebrate my birthday. The sidewalk near the school is under renovation during summer break. There’s only a narrow temporary passage, just wide enough for two people to squeeze through. On the way home, I came across a young girl stuck in the narrow passage with her bicycle. Her hands were covered in black oil. I asked what had happened. She said her bicycle chain lock had become tangled with her tire and she’d been trying to fix it for a while. I said gently, “Let’s move the bike somewhere spacious first — leave this...

Today is my birthday. I woke up before 5 a.m., as usual. It was raining — but gently — so I decided to go out for my morning walk. The sky was cloudy. A light drizzle fell as I arrived at the park. Then, the rain stopped. There were only three people in the entire park. The energy was still and pure. I felt lucky — like I had stepped into a sacred space. At 5:25, I took a photo of the sky. It was magnificent. Then I whispered to the Universe: “Today is my birthday. If you really love me, show me a sign.” And at 5:26, just one minute later… I saw a rainbow in the sky. I was answered. I was seen. I was loved. A birthday blessing, directly from the Universe....

How We Appearl I am my status — not my soul. I am my job title — not myself. I am my role in the family — not my truth. I am who my mother, husband, children, and society expect me to be — but I am not me. I am the owner of possessions — but I am not the owner of my soul. And now I pause. I close my eyes. I turn inward. And I ask… Dear soul — who do you want to be? Not for approval. Not for performance. Just for truth. For peace. For freedom. For love. Who We Really Are You can sit quietly and ask yourself: “Who am I when no one is watching?” “Wh...