I was woken up at 2:25 a.m. by my daughter. Every Friday night, my kids ask to sleep beside me. I usually fall right back asleep, but not this time.
Today is his last day at the gym.
I couldn’t stop thinking about our encounter yesterday. There was no warmth in his eyes — not even a trace. If he was a mirror, maybe he was simply reflecting what I was feeling inside.
Every time I said thank you to him, he’d respond with a teasing “Again?” Yes, again. I said it many times. Because he helped me heal. Maybe he didn’t know how much.
But is it the fact or just my performing? i question myself.
Unable to fall back asleep, I got up and began recalling the story between us — where it began and how it changed me.
I started to practice English online from mid January, speaking to strangers on an app. I wasn’t confident. I had spent over 60 hours in 2 weeks talking to native speakers, and I still struggled with fear.
But in early February — I remember because I checked my old lesson recordings that i mentioned excitedly with my teacher— I spoke to a foreigner in person for the very first time.
It was him.
That morning, the gym was quiet because of the bad weather. Just the two of us were there.
I was training my chest and had placed my small crossbody bag on another machine nearby. Suddenly, I noticed a man quietly move my bag to another machine. He didn’t ask — he just moved it.
That surprised me. Most people would speak first. But he didn’t. He wore a black T-shirt and seemed distant, withdrawn from the world around him.
Still, I felt I could talk to him. Mainly because I wanted to test whether I had the courage to speak to a foreigner in person.
After finishing my set, I saw he was resting too, so I approached him and asked, “Hi, where are you from?”
He said he was from Italy. He had switched to this new gym after it opened. We talked for about three minutes — long enough for me to learn he had been weight training for 15 years. No wonder his body was so strong. So defined. I admired his discipline.
I told him I had two kids. He said he did, too. About the same age as my daughter.
After that, we started seeing each other regularly — because both of us liked to train around 6 a.m.
We didn’t talk much, just short greetings. Once, he asked me to help him translate something to a Taiwanese man. But most days, we just exchanged smiles.
There was something strange about him, though — or maybe about our energy. Every time we talked, he came incredibly close. Not an arm’s length — just half. Close enough that I could almost feel his heartbeat.
That is the reason why our conversations were always brief.
About six weeks later, he added me on LINE.
He suggested we could train together or have coffee sometime.
I added him back. Maybe because I admired his muscles. Maybe because I admired his discipline.
After that, he sent me warm messages now and then.
“You look truly beautiful today.” “I didn’t see you today. I miss your beautiful presence in the gym.”
I deleted most of them. But they stayed in my mind.
Every time I got his message, I would’t reply.
Until April 14, 2025, he messaged me:
“Your smile shines like the sun. It always makes me feel happy when I get one.”
I kept that message. I even took a screenshot and sent it to my husband, asking him how I should reply.
He suggested: just say “Thank you.”
So I replied: “Thank you.”
Occasionally, he would invite me to have coffee with him. I would respond politely, always with an OK, but I never followed through.
One week later, he messaged again. He said he’d be traveling to China, so he wouldn’t be at the gym for a while.
I replied:
“I’m from China. I often feel lonely here. I understand how it feels to be far from home. That’s why I try to be kind and warm — maybe to help others feel less alone.”
He replied:
“So it’s because you are kind to me… what a regret, I thought you liked me.”
The week after he returned from China was awkward. I felt the atmosphere between us had changed. I didn’t know whether I should smile or not when I saw him.
One morning, I saw him from a distance and decided to avoid him. I went to the boxing area to stretch. But he walked over to me anyway. I can’t remember what he said exactly — only that something shifted.
We returned to polite smiles after that.
In May, things softened. He sometime greeted me from afar with a little heart gesture, a wink, or a warm smile. Every time, I felt joy but respond only with a warm smile.
I knew he was interested. I felt I liked him too. But we were both married.
So I chose to remain polite. Just gym friends.
Until mid-May, he messaged:
“I really enjoy your beautiful presence in the gym. I’ve seen your progress and I’m happy for you. I’m going back to Italy in July. It would be a great honor to have a cup of coffee together.”
Because I kind of feel relieved because he is going to leave. And i had a feeling he has some message for me.
This time, I replied:
“OK, I’d love to.”
Because… something inside me felt relieved.
Maybe it was the knowing that he would be leaving soon — and with that, no pressure, no danger of anything going too far.
And deep down, I had a quiet feeling:
he had a message for me.